Photo by Ciprian Morar on Unsplash
Every few weeks I’ll see an article in the news about global warming. There will be a report of a new record high, or some political action regarding global warming. It’s a little surprising to me that some still argue against the reality of man-caused global warming. I’m sorry, I thought that there were thousands of scientists all over the world who vehemently support the concept of global warming, largely based upon increasing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, secondary to the burning of fossil fuels. That’s good enough for me. Seriously, who are you going to believe: scientists, who understand science, and study science, or brain-dead politicians receiving financial support from oil companies?
There are many who would agree that global warming caused by the burning of fossil fuels is one of the most significant problems facing mankind today.
As a physician, I worry about other problems, and one of the largest is obesity. No pun intended. Obesity directly causes a number of health problems, everything from osteoarthritis and coronary artery disease to increased risk of many cancers.
How are these two problems related?
In my twenties, I was a chemical engineer, and my mind will revert to organic synthesis and liquid-gas separations in my moments of quiet reflection. I’ve long had a theory in the back of my mind, the idea that we can reverse global warming if we just get fat enough.
No way, you say. How would that even work?
Thanks for asking. Here is the idea: fat is stored on the human body largely as triacylglycerol, or TAG. This is a large hydrocarbon molecule with the molecular formula C59H104O6. The molecular weight of this molecule is 909.475 g/mol. As you can see, most of this molecule is made up of carbon. If we use CO2 in the air to grow crops, such as corn, and we eat this corn, in the form of tortilla chips and high-fructose corn syrup, we will get fatter. This additional adipose tissue is largely TAG, containing lots of carbon. So, you can see, we can sequester carbon from the atmosphere in our ever-expanding asses. But will it be enough to save the whales?
No way, you say. To which I respond, you don’t know that. You haven’t done the math. So, let’s do this.
How much carbon dioxide (CO2) will need to be removed from the atmosphere in order to reverse global warming? Well, in 1970, the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere was 325 parts per million (ppm). This information is readily available on the Climate.gov website. Today, the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere is 405 ppm. I propose that if we reduce the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere to 1970 levels, we will effectively reverse global warming.
Okay, you say. But how much carbon is this? Every ppm of CO2 corresponds to 2.13 gigatons, or 2.13 billion metric tons of CO2.
405 ppm – 325 ppm = 80 ppm we need to remove from the atmosphere.
80 ppm x 2.13 = 170.4 gigatons of CO2 to remove.
I have no idea what a gigaton is. How much is this in pounds?
170.4 gigatons = 3.75 x 1014 lbs.
How much of this CO2 is carbon? Divide the molecular weight of carbon by the total molecular weight of CO2: 12/44 = 0.2727.
So, we need to add 3.75E14 lb x 0.2727 = 1.022E14 lb of carbon to people’s fat stores.
How much fat is this?
Well, a molecule of TAG is 77.8% carbon, by weight.
So, we need people to gain 1.313 E 14 lb fat. That’s a lot of fat. How much is that per person?
Well, there are 7.44 billion people in the world.
1.313E14 lb / 7.44 billion people = 17,648 lb of fat per person.
If each person on earth gained 17,648 lb of fat, we could reverse global warming.
Okay, that’s not going to work. According to my sources (the Guiness Book of World Records) the heaviest person ever weighed 1,400 lb. We’re not even in the ballpark.
What is the take-home message from all this? Nothing, really. I would like to pass on the idea that no big issues in life are ever black-and-white. Every proposed solution to every problem has side-effects. Every lifesaving drug has undesired side-effects. Every answer to an environmental problem creates new problems. All of those hippies out driving electric cars need to recognize that an enormous amount of fossil fuel was burned to build the batteries of that car. The electricity to charge the batteries probably came mostly from burning natural gas or coal. More comes from wind and solar every day, but we’re not even close yet.
And, maybe we can someday save the whales by becoming whales ourselves.
I think I will do my part by eating a big bowl of mashed patties with extra butter 🙂