I saw a patient recently, a man in his late seventies, who suffered from back pain. He came to me for a myelogram, a procedure in which I inject contrast dye into the intrathecal space of his spinal canal. This allows us to see clearly the outline of his spinal canal and nerves with a CT scan. Generally, people with back pain will receive an MRI, but this gentleman had so much hardware; fusion rods, screws, a spinal cord stimulator device, that he was unable to get an MRI.
Hence the myelogram.
The procedure took longer than usual, because my needles kept bending, trying to push through the dense scar tissue in his back from multiple spine surgeries. And he was uncomfortable because he had to lay on his belly. The degenerative changes in his spine cause his nerves to be pinched, making his hands go numb. Altogether fairly unpleasant. At one point, he said, “I hope we can figure out what’s causing this pain.”
I agreed, of course, because that’s the goal. But later, when I was scrolling through the images of his CT scan, I thought to myself, “We know what’s wrong. You’re eighty years old! You’ve had eight decades of wear and tear on your spine, compounded by repeated surgeries, artificial objects screwed into your bones, and desiccated disks. You. Are. Old.”
That’s what’s going on.
Is there nothing we can do? I wouldn’t say that. He had several areas that were worse than the rest, disks and bone spurs pushing on nerves. Maybe, if it’s bad enough, he might be willing to undergo another surgery to try to fix these focal problems.
But he’s still gonna be old. With an old spine.
You Will Suffer.
It’s a concept that seems to be absent from the collective consciousness. During your life, there will be moments, days, weeks, when you are in pain. You will be uncomfortable, you will be embarrassed, you will be heartbroken. And you will get sick. I feel like we used to understand this, but lost sight under the continuous barrage of marketing.
It’s a great way to sell a product, right? By telling people that they will suffer only if they don’t buy this product. The commercials for Snickers are a prime example. They show people turning into hangry monsters, with a block of high-fructose corn syrup the only cure.
The ego is a powerful force, working continuously to avoid fear and pain. Or the fear of pain, which might be even worse. Think about all the problems we cause with our fear of pain. We fear being hungry, so we eat continuously. I don’t have to list the problems caused by obesity. People refuse to exercise, fearing the associated discomfort. People take narcotics, fearing pain, and end up addicted. Something like 70,000 people in the US died from opiod overdose in 2021! Think about that number. Compared to the roughly 600,000 deaths from cancer, it’s a relatively small number, but it’s one hundred percent avoidable. Cancer is not.
What’s your point, Jason?
What’s my take-home message here? It’s okay to suffer. That’s it. I mean, it’s not desirable, but it will happen. Maybe a little acceptance would help us deal with the inevitable pain of life with a little more grace. And this speaks to becoming butt-hurt too. If your feelings are hurt because someone disagrees with you politically, or in any other way, I just want you to know it’s gonna be okay. You will survive this hardship. Even if the person is purposely trying to be rude to you, you don’t have to let it destroy your world. You don’t have to try to rebuild our society centered around your tender feelings. Or, you can, if you want. I personally wouldn’t waste the hours of life. Save your energy for shit that matters. Like staying alive and caring for others. You are resilient. Humans have survived hundreds of thousands of years of disease, famine, war, and reality television. A little suffering now will just make the good days all the brighter.
I should mention that I’m writing this during day four of a mild cold. I’ve been popping ibuprofen and whining the entire time. So, maybe this post is more in the nature of self-evaluation than a wise commentary on the state of our nation. [Embarrassed face emoji]