I hate the Canadians. They are always crapping on the sidewalk behind my house and eating my grass seeds. I’m referring, or course, to Canadian Geese. I think, technically, they are called Canada Geese. That doesn’t change the fact that every winter, approximately 17 million of the dirty bastards descend on the lake behind my house, and defile the sidewalk with innumerable green, disgusting goose turds. They make it impossible to jog around the lake or even go for a walk without destroying your shoes. The little bombs are apparently not disgusting to my dog, who devours them like I eat buffalo wings. My last dog would do the same, earning a giardia infection every year, necessitating antiparasite medication and resulting in frequent bloody diarrhea.
My grass seed is not safe, once the giant disgusting birds show up. They don’t care how much it cost, or how long it took to find my Scotts broadcast spreader buried in the garage. They just know that mix of Kentucky bluegrass and fescue is delicious. They gobble it up like my dog eats their poop. Which is fast.
This all leads me to believe that we need to build a wall between the US and Canada. A really tall one. We need to keep the Canadian criminal fowl out of our country. According to Wikipedia, Canada geese have been reported at an altitude of 29,000 feet. Therefore we need a fence 29,001 feet high. That’s like six miles. At least it has a chance of working, as geese have rarely gotten into this country via shipping ports or commercial airlines.
I’m just confused when anyone suggests a fence between us and Mexico. What’s the point of that? You want to keep out cooks and gardeners and roofers? People willing to work hard for a fraction of the cost of native Americans? Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? You want to pick your own lettuce? And this doesn’t include the doctors and lawyers and businessmen who move here from Mexico. I had an Internal Medicine attending who was from Mexico. The only drugs she was dealing were antibiotics. I would argue that we want more hard-working people who are willing to work cheap, and fewer bloated, crapping, grass seed-eating Canadians. God bless America. Make America Crap-Free Again.
Lol. Very good points!