It is ceaseless, this focal message, repeated over and over. From co-workers, the internet, the television, the radio, strangers walking by.
“Did you vote? You’ve gotta get out and vote.”
I’ve started lying and replying, “I sure did. I went out and voted before work this morning. It was great, voting.”
But it’s not great. It’s a waste and a lie, and that’s why I don’t do it. My distaste for the voting process has nothing to do with laziness. Ok, it has a little to do with laziness. But mostly, it has to do with something close to hatred I feel for the political process and the candidates.
Why does everybody want me to vote so badly? What if I want to vote for the guy you don’t like? Do you still want me to vote?
I get a feeling about politics just like I do about professional football. People want to be part of a team, and they want to hate the other team.
“I can’t vote for you! You’re a democrat! That’s almost as bad as being a Raider’s fan.”
People are lazy, and they want a party to stand for everything, so they don’t have to spend the time learning about each specific issue. What about campaign reform? What about gay rights?
“I don’t have time to read about all that stuff. I’m a republican, because I want lower taxes.”
“I’m a democrat because I want to tax people more and give the money to Pakistan.”
It seems crazy, to me. Every single issue should be examined, and each candidate’s stance on that issue considered. And I know some people do this. Some people have a lot of time on their hands and nothing better to do than follow politics like it’s fantasy football.
I personally don’t get into it. I don’t need to, because I eliminate political candidates based on personality and appearance. That’s why I didn’t vote in the last presidential election. I hate Trump and Clinton. I think they’re both despicable, self-serving a-holes and I refuse to vote by choosing the lesser of two evils. Also, they’re both unattractive. Can’t we get some better-looking candidates?
Let’s see if I can sum up the election process: some guy decides that he is a pretty good lawyer, or businessman, or he served in the military, so of course he should be leading an entire nation. You walked around shooting people in Iraq? By all means, you should be running the country. You are certainly qualified. You went to law school, and spent a few years billing people to push papers back and forth, here are the keys. You are in charge.
So, this is the core of my major problem with running for political office: it self-selects people whom I would not like. Politicians are people who think they are better than other people, and they seek elevation in society and power. These are general characteristics I do not like.
The second issue is the process. A candidate needs to get his propaganda out there, right? He needs to play trashy ads over and over ad nauseam repeating how he is the best because he was in the army, and the other guy is hates children.
“Ron Johnson wants to steal change from your child’s piggy bank and use it for hookers and blow. Vote for me, Bob Smith, I fought in Afghanistan, and I’ll fight for you in Washington.”
Do we not recognize how childish, negative, and wasteful this process has become? Millions upon millions of dollars are spent on these ads and yard signs, and all the other parts of the office-buying process, so that brain-dead voters can say things like, “I like Bob Smith. You know he’s a veteran. And he has a wife and kids. Lookie, here’s a picture of them. Don’t they look wholesome?” And they trudge into the voting booth and cast their worthless vote. What do they really know about this candidate? Nothing. They know nothing. Is he a pervert? Maybe. Is he a crooked jerk who plans to make money off his office? Probably. Is he a power-hungry megalomaniac who will put the requirements of his donors above the needs of his constituents? Almost definitely.
So maybe more people relate to Bob Smith than Ron Johnson. Because he was in the army. And Ron Johnson was just a lawyer. So, Bob Smith wins the office and goes to Washington. Where he becomes another cog in the machine. He is told how to vote on every issue by the senior members of his party and by the industrialists who fund him. This process seems no more legitimate than 1920’s Chicago.
“So, Jason, how would you fix this process? If you’re so smart, you must have a better idea.”
Well, I wish I did. I’m really only good at complaining. Not so sharp at improving. But I would start with an idea I’ve heard from smarter folks, which is that candidates have to stop taking money from people with interests. Right? Don’t take money to become a senator from an oil company that wants tax cuts and oil pipeline approval. It’s a clear conflict of interest. Perhaps a compromise might be that there is a tax-funded sack of cash that can be used equally by all candidates to advertise. Or better yet, why advertise at all? Advertising is forcing a message on people to do something you want them to do. What if we just made every piece of information about each candidate available in a centralized location? Start a website, call it vote.com, or something similar, and each candidate for every office has a page where he answered a thousand standardized questions. Do you think abortion should be legal? Do you think there should be any limits on gun ownership? Should the death penalty be instituted for telemarketers who call to “help me with my credit cards?” And on, and on. Build this page in a standardized format so we all can get used to reading it and understanding the information. And leave it up forever. So, when Senator Bob Smith says that he supports lower taxes, then turns around and raises taxes, we can hold him accountable. And send him back to Afghanistan.