About a mile and a half from my house, someone is clearing a large lot to build a car wash. To do this, they are cutting down and ripping up hundreds of perfectly good trees. The first time I drove by and saw the destruction, and the sign heralding the impending place of business, I’ll admit, for a moment I fantasized about a nice steakhouse. Then, I read the sign and saw that our future held another car wash, and I was supremely irritated. Why on earth do we need another car wash?
Now, I’ll be the first to admit, I am biased. I don’t ever wash my truck. So I have little to no use for a car wash. Also, I have been scarred by the show “Breaking Bad,” so I now assume all car washes are actually laundering the proceeds from sales of illegal methamphetamines. Then I remembered that nobody actually does meth anymore because they can get oxycodone, legally. So there is no need to force a guy with big bushy eyebrows to sell you his car wash so you can funnel drug money through it.
Anyway,back to my soapbox. I can’t help but feel that a society in which we value a car wash over a beautiful, peaceful lot covered with 50-year-old trees, well, it seems like our priorities are out of whack. We would rather have a building that pours hot water and chemicals over our fossil-fuel-burning SUVs, than a small parcel of unviolated nature. Don’t get me wrong, I love cars. I think they are as beautiful as a tree. Often more beautiful. And I love business. I’m a fan of creating enterprises that employ people and create value. But a car wash?
Okay, so we have established that I am a slob with a dirty truck. I don’t wash it because it’s just going to get dirty again. Sometimes within hours. And it’s expensive. And harmful to the environment. So, obviously the car wash isn’t for me. Is it right for me to deny a lovely new car wash to other people? I would argue yes. For the same reason I don’t think we need any more banks. There are plenty already! There is a car wash every half mile, all through town. Several very nice ones. Can’t you use one of them? Also, why do we need 500 bank branches in a town the size of Topeka?
What businesses would I offer my approval? There are many. I would be okay chopping down majestic oaks and maples if you were putting in a microbrewery. Or, as I said before, a nice steakhouse. We don’t really have one in town. The kind of place where fat old rich guys guzzle scotch and smoke cigars, before and after devouring 24-ounce prime-cut ribeyes. I’m slowly turning into one of those guys, and I feel keenly the absence of my natural habitat.
It’s not just food and booze that I would approve; I would like to see an art-house movie theater, a mom-and-pop hardware store, a travel agent, a Tesla dealership, doctor or dentist office, or a bookstore. Basically, things in which I am interested.
Businesses for which I would not approve deforestation: hair salon, gas station, car wash, bank branch, vaping supply store,payday loans, or insurance agency. The trees are more important than all of those entities. At least to me.
I suppose I could be called a fair-weather environmentalist. I have low-energy LED lights throughout my home, but I leave them on all the time. I recycle, but I buy plastic bottles of water. I approve of renewable energy,but I drive a pickup. Now, in my defense, my F-150 has the Eco-boost 6-cylinder turbocharged engine, which is supposed to, but does not actually, get better gas mileage than the standard V8. I care about global warming, but I need a truck to haul things. When Elon Musk builds this electric pickup he has been teasing, I will be the first inline. And, with a vehicle that nice, I suppose I will go through the car wash.
I am an environmentalist and I would go for a donut shoppe.
The Tesla dealership has my vote